What do George and Laura Bush have in common with Dick and Jane? Well, both hail from prototypical WASP families. And, perhaps more to the point, both exhibit a natural resistance to moral complexity (i.e., reality).That's the premise of this hilarious new primer-style book in which George, Laura, and the entire Bush family communicate with uncharacteristic expressiveness, conveying shades of of feeling and nuances of meaning that plain old English can't deliver--by peppering their conversatuon with Yiddishisms.
Jane is in real estate.
Today is Saturday.
Jane has an open house.
She must schlep the Open House signs to the car.
See Jane schlep.
Schlep, Jane. Schlep.
Schlep, schlep, schlep.
In text that captures the unque rhythms of the original Dick and Jane readers, and in 35 all-new illustrations, a story unfolds in which Dick and Jane--hero and heroine of the classic books for children that generations of Americans have used when learning to read--manage to express shades of feeling and nuances of meaning that ordinary English just can't deliver. How? By speaking Yiddish, employing terms that convey an attitude--part plucky self-assertion, part ironic fatalism. When Dick schmoozes, when Jane kvetches, when their children fress noodles at a Chinese restaurant, the clash of cultures produces genuine hilarity.
First stop: Harvard or Yale or Princeton or... Next stop: Wall Street riches...house on the Vineyard...vineyard with a house...a Nobel Prize... Not so fast. Everybody knows that the schools of the Ivy League-universally touted as the pinnacle of American higher education-have graduated countless political leaders, corporate titans, and global power brokers. But did you know these schools have also produced murderers, warmongers, traitors, plagiarists, slave traders, pederasts, and every other variety of moral reprobate? Whether you're a high school student grinding away in the hope of gaining admission to one of these institutions, a parent propelling a child toward Ivy glory, a current Ivy League undergraduate wondering "What the hell is this place?"-or even an Ivy League alum, professor, administrator, or dropout-this book was written specifically for you. As a warning. Because there are certain things-monstrous things-that go unmentioned in the catalog, campus tour, or employment package. And if your Ivy League application was rejected, here's compelling and consoling evidence of how lucky you are.